[Dave Birch]  Hilarious.

I just called one of my card providers because I wanted more information about a transaction. I won’t embarrass them by giving their name here. I got through to an IVR…

“Please enter you card number”

I punch in 16 digits.

“Please enter you day and month of birth”

I punch in another 4 digits.

Get through to another menu.

“For XXX, press 1. For YYY, press 2. For ZZZZ, press 3.”

I press 3.


After a short wait, a guy answers. The first thing he says is “what is your card number?”.

I tell him “it’s the one I just punched in”.

He says “That’s a different system. We can’t see the number from this system.”

So I ask him “Why did they ask me to punch it in then?”

He says “Well from the card number then can tell whether its a Visa card or a MasterCard, so they can make sure your call comes to the right call centre”.

I say “OK, I get it. So you’re the MasterCard call centre?”

He says—and I swear I didn’t make this up—“Actually there’s only one call centre so all the calls come here anyway”.

And then he asks me for my card number again.

There isn’t an app for that. .

These are personal opinions and should not be misunderstood as representing the opinions of
Consult Hyperion or any of its clients or suppliers


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